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Attention Spans and Problem Solving …

I was thinking about the song “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift the other day, and wanted to understand my reaction, why did I start crying, it must have pointed to an issue that I suffer from. Specifically the word “narcissism” why would someone narcissistic prefer to look at the sun rather than themselves. This seemed to highlight some avoidance of self reflection, and a preference for exposing oneself to the sunlight, a direct contact with a light so bright that you’re told not to look directly into the sun’s sunlight, so why would that feel better to a narcissist rather than looking at oneself. Why the preference. I recently google searched what “deflecting attention away” means and it means to “deflect ,,, criticism or attention, [by] act[ing] in a way that prevents it from being directed towards you or affecting you.” [1]

I don’t think that people are hallow or shallow, I think people are defensive fast thinkers with a preference for wit over political correctism, but once things become a blame, it becomes a system of life catching up to you, or you catching up with life too late. So what are the hallmarks of narcissism, looking good, feeling good, attracting attention, to not look at oneself in the mirror, the opposite of what narcissists do constantly checking their appearances, means to appear in a way that they don’t think or believe that there is anything wrong with them, a demonstrated sense of fearlessless to public opinion, can occur most likely in people who are certain of themselves, that no amount of controversy is possible to transpire, based on how one looks, this is a person who is so confident in the appearance that they do not recognize themselves as affecting others, so this is the comfort level of people who are looked at, they know its coming, they expect the reaction to be positive, and the feeling portrayed to resonate, to not care.

Deflecting attention away, is a coping mechanism, a strategy used by people to avoid having any “anxiety or guilt” [2] placed on themselves, is a self-defensive mechanism that people in the public light or private lives, use to reinforce a belief that those who do no wrong, who’s minds are in the right place about things, can not be passed as appearing any better more or less than others, so that no denial of responsibility is addressed in terms of what worries or consoles others on subjects directly affecting them, or portrayed by them, then what is the issue of discomfort?

I think when things go wrong, instead of deflecting attention away from yourself, which for me would be to smile and appear perfect and write quotes, would do more of a disservice than it would be to be sensitive to ongoing issues and to address separately the discomforts arising, so that its not a feeling concentrated and spread to others to assimilate to. Like talking about self-harm or suicide, you know if you want to stop a condition from taking over and becoming worse, you have to be strong enough to not inherit feelings or be made to feel that way in life, powerless or in pain or frustrated easily upset and powerless. Those are painful positions to be in life not able to help yourself, or having made choices and taken yourself in the wrong direction in life, to the extent that you suffer, not be enriched by your experiences in life. That’s learning after the fact, eventually you have to know yourself well enough to know what connections you can withstand in life, and recognize who are you being strong for, who are you taking care of yourself for, and where do you belong and where should you end up, and why should any of that change based on the opinion of anyone not in your life, or not connected to your body and mind, at what point is the writers perspective valued as human, real, truthful, honest, and helpful, what makes it not? At what point do people back off and stop thinking of themselves, more than others. At what point is someone entitled to worry for themselves, not be responsible for anyone else’s worry not connected to them. I think as a writer, its easy to feel threatened by people as though you are some club or belief instilled to others, that you should amount to a satisfaction entitled to the holder of a feeling that they blame you for, not instilling a feeling of pride. You know pride is about what you do for yourself in life, and is about who you are rooting for in life.

I was just writing about in private about how stability occurs and reassurance. If we were all concentric circles, and if each of its parts are capable of being affected, then at the core it would be the responsibility of those most popular, such as me with 68 million fans (AR), to get stable strong: smoke less, lose 50 lbs, take meds as directed, push myself to work on my blog, apply to jobs if I can (ready for a change or shift in focus to something completely different), and to find career success and create for stability for myself in the future. This is a future potential that we can all feel, when you are connected to someone who is reliable thoughtful and able to take care of themselves. It’s never easy to be connected to people you worry over, so there goes the fast life, why I stay home, don’t go out, don’t drink or do drugs, and date once a month, just this year started 2022. Who you are as influenced, is a person of clarity, allowed to be on one’s own, a dependency would do the opposite of instilling clarity, over-reliance on feelings, or systems of being hurt do the opposite for self-growth, it makes you inferior to others and small.

Deflecting is a strategy that sometimes throws people off course [3] if you’re not expecting it, so don’t be surprised, in any moments left with yourself to think about life, you wont always be inclined to feel connected in moments that make you think about life and yourself, just don’t blame yourself for your solitude, or isolation, there is always a life on the other side of processing those feelings, let no terms confuse you or convince you that life is this way will be this way, or will forever be at this disposition, like me, you are capable of arising from the categories that people are sent to in life, to speak from, you don’t always have to belong among people you don’t identify with, just be able to identify why you were misidentified that way, and by what experiences or terminology is sought top be true about you to reinforce any negative belief about you, that does you a disservice, or causes a breakdown of your physical strength and mental health. That’s negative attention, people awake to you, versus you falling asleep, that’s too much attention negative, when you are suffering and no one cares, or blame you for your suffering as though it affects them. Its always in your best interests to never fall into a disabling condition. What goes wrong won’t always be about who looks bad, it will become more about maintaining at the core, of what is reality, when what people think matters less and less. That’s how you become human again, that’s when you stop fighting people and conditions or terms, and address the sickness held within directed toward a person you either don’t relate to or see yourself better than, a body that doesn’t stink and spread disease, is not the cause for your hate, the cause for hate are the list of things you tell yourself to reinforce a dislike toward a person.

Reference:

[1] https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/deflect-attention

[2] https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/psychologists/what-is-deflection-psychology-explains-this-defense-mechanism/

[3] https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/deflect

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